Rainy Day Miscief and Mayhem
by Lady Pendragon
Summary: But then again, isn't it always raining in Forks? What do you get when you slam together pink hair dye, Christmas, and taking over Canada with the help of the Cullens? This, of course! T for mild language


**Rainy Day Mischief and Mayhem**

_(But then again, isn't it always raining in Forks?)_

(btw, this story was my Christmas present to one of my best friends)

To begin- a rainy Christmas Eve day in Forks, Washington, set after New Moon.

Bella's POV

I sighed as I flipped channels, waiting for Edward to return from hunting. It was so lonely with Charlie at work and Edward not there. I had actually resorted to watching a football gave on the television set when I heard arguing voices coming from the front door. They were muffled sounds that sounded like "What if it's the wrong place?" and "Your muses can do WHAT?" I figured I should probably go see who it was, maybe an insane pair of salesmen or some crazy writer. As I walked toward the door my thoughts, of course, wandered to Edward. How perfect he was, how amazing, the usual. A quick smack on the door slammed me ungracefully out of my reverie. Damn them.

"Coming!" I called, a bit annoyed. Edward should be back by now. When I opened the door, two adolescents over my height stared back at me through glazed eyes. They were most obviously younger than me, and very exited. One was a girl, the other a boy, and their sheepish grins told me they had an underlying reason for being here. They weren't selling anything. They both were dressed rather casually in jeans and hooded sweatshirts. It was a natural Forks day, chilly and raining, so I ushered them just inside the door. Looking at them I began to speak, as a pair of arms wrapped around my waist.

"Who are y- oh, hello Edward. Back so soon?" I asked sweetly, as I turned to face him. He pushed me back to face the two teenagers.

"We have guests Bella, "he said to me, and then continued by whispering in my ear rather surprised, "and they seem to know all about us." _They knew…about us?_ I thought Edward's family's vampirism was something that we didn't discuss in everyday conversation with strangers. Actually, it was something we rarely discussed even in the privacy of the Cullen home…

Edward's POV

The girl was plotting something, this I knew the moment I saw her. Even if I couldn't have read minds, I could've still figured it out from the grin plastered on her face like paper mache to a cardboard house. However, before I could get a hold on her plotting mind, the boy began to sing in his head very loudly. It was horrible music and the artist's voice wasn't kind to the ears either. He was singing something about a joining a black parade and carrying on. As I glared in his direction, he smirked at me, knowing exactly what he was countering. They knew I was a vampire. They knew all about Bella and I, actually. This unsettled me. I did not want to have to leave Bella again, but if they were staying in Forks, then I couldn't put her in danger.

"Hello Edward, Hello Bella," the girl said, "so nice to finally meet you." Her name was Emily; she was thirteen years old and knew who I was. That flickered in my mind, and then she thought of redundant things, to deter me. Such as, 'the sky is blue' and 'this is Forks.' They certainly knew I could read minds. I moved in front of Bella, slightly growling.

"Who are you?" I said, in what was trying to be a menacing way. The girl stepped forward, accepting my 'challenge,' and actually talked to me. Despite my glare! Bella had said that my glare also has a strong effect on people, as does my smile. My smile dazzles people, while my glare scares them half to death. However, she was a tough case. I'd just have to try harder.

"You already know that. But for the sake of Bella- I am Emily, and this is Matt. We're from out east, me more so than Matt. We've come to give you each a Christmas gift, and ask you a question." She seemed genuine enough; she was thinking so at least. However, I stayed wary, because my 'special abilities' had deceived me before. And then she started again, "Forgive me for interrupting you reading my thoughts, Edward, but you won't get through. We've devised an interesting strategy. But if you want your gifts you'll have to put up with us for a bit." So Bella invited them inside, much to my disappointment. Come on Bella! I thought you didn't like gifts!

Emily's POV

Hah. Everything had gone right! MWAHAHAHAHA! With them on our side, Canada would SURELY be ours! Now to get them to agree…

"And how is your family, Eddie?" I asked, using Matt's and my name for our AU Edward. He snarled at me. I gave him my okay-now-you're-actually-insane-look. He was kinda scary when he wanted to be… However, Matt and I needed them to help us with operation: takeover, even if we'd have to endure many death glares.

"Don't. Call. Me. Eddie." he said, in probably what he perceived to be in an intimidating way. Hehehehe. Intimidating me, can you believe that? Matt may say I have too big of an ego, but I swear I'm definitely as awesome as I say I am! Even though I do go on occasional comma splices. And I could pull this off too! I took a step back, and put my hand up, closing my eyes and looking down.

"Sorry, sorry. How is your family, Edward?" _Sheesh, what was his issue? Stupid vampire_, I thought.

"I AM NOT A STUPID VAMPIRE! THAT'S IT, OUT NOW." And with that, he shoved me backwards with one hand.

"Edward…" Bella said. He ignored her. "Now Edward, don't break anything…" she continued, but still Edward was trying to get me out the door. And finally, "EDWARD, STOP!" He looked at her exasperatedly. He really wanted me out of there. Thinking he may've broken my shoulder, I rolled it in its socket. No, not broken.

"Geez, any tighter of a grip and you'd have crushed my bones." I said, glaring at him. Ow. That hurt. "Ouch," I wheezed, "that really hurt." I have Bella my most pathetic smile, and coughed. That should do the trick nicely I thought. Three years of drama club did pay off in the end!

"Edward," she whined. Haha, sucker. Could she have played into our hands any easier? "What was that for? She didn't even insult you!" She looked at him, and he smiled.

"Sorry Bella," he said looking into her eyes. I think Bella melted there and then. And this time it was Matt who thought something that was not to Edwards liking. It was probably that the two of them should get a room. Edward death-stared him. I swear, if looks could kill Matt would definitely have died on the spot about six times.

"Edward. Bella," Matt started, talking for the first time since he had stepped into the Swan residence, "Em and I have a proposition for you."

Matt's POV

Edward looked at me like I was mad. I mean I understand that I am kinda random…but insane? No. He had definitely read my thoughts. And sure enough…

"Help you take over Canada? Are you raving?" he asked me. And then it dawned on him. We were damn serious. He then looked at Emily and me funny, like we made him uncomfortable. Can you believe it? Us, intimidating the great Edward? It was better than a trophy! Bella turned her head and looked up at Edward.

"…Canada?" she asked in wonder. Emily nodded, her smirk stretching into a grin. "Well, that sounds like fun…" Bella said. She turned to Edward.

"Absolutely not." Edward said defiantly and absolutely.

**Meanwhile, in the Cullen household… **Third Person POV

"Emmett!" Alice said excitedly from downstairs. Her brother came into the room, his eyes sparkling. "I just had a vision. It was about two teenagers asking Bella and Edward to help them take over Canada. I think they're serious. And it seemed like your sort of thing, so…"she trailed off, waiting for a response from her brother.

"I'm in," he said, even though as soon as he had made up his mind, Alice saw. "What about you?" Her smile told him enough. "But Edward won't want to help. And ideas?"

"This girl already has an in idea. And it involves some pink hair dye," Alice snickered. This would turn out to be so much fun!

"I want in on that part," came a quiet musical voice from behind Emmett. It was Rosalie. And then she quickly added, "Just because I want to see the look on his face when she destroys his masculine pride. How is she planning to use this to get him to help them take over Canada?"

"They're going to use it as leverage. She'll take it out if he'll help them. But only after he helps them, and they have Canada under control."

"What about Jasper?" Emmett asked.

"He's on his way over there now," replied Alice, smiling. "Anyone up for a visit to the Swan residence?" she asked, already getting up. Emmett stopped her.

"First let me get the camera," he said eagerly, taking Rosalie's hand and bounding upstairs, most probably for the camera. They came back down in less than ten seconds, having gathered about six cameras from the upstairs room. They included digital cameras, a regular camera, and a Polaroid camera for instant memories. Grinning, he began to speak again. "Let's take the Wrangler."

**Back at the Swan residence… **Jasper's POV

As I was about to knock on Bella's door Edward opened it, which resulted in me punching him in the face. The two teenagers behind him snickered, and Bella ran up to him to see if he was okay. Which of course, he was. So I stepped in the door.

"Hello Bella, " I greeted her, "Edward." He looked at me with a twisted look, presumably because I was concentrating about how I was going to help take over Canada, rather than picturing him with pink hair. This was one of Alice's visions I was sure I would like. I walked over to the boy and girl and shook their hands.

"I'm in." I said, keeping my voice even. They grinned, laughed, and high-fived each other.

"Awesome!" the boy exclaimed, " We got Jasper!" I laughed. Wait, how did he know who I was? This would be fun. "And by the way, I'm Matt, this is Emily," he added as an afterthought.

"Alice, Emmett and Rosalie should be here soon, "I offered to Edward, "unfortunately though, I think you're the only one who doesn't want in on this!" Come on, taking over a country! Who wouldn't help with that? Edward just growled at me.

"Don't try to influence my feelings, Jasper," Edward said. I sent him a wave of relaxation. He glared at me, and still resisted. "No. I will not. And neither will you Bella."

"And who says I wont?" she asked him, clearly annoyed by his controlling. He then tried to dazzle her, failing.

"Please Bella, you could get hurt. Hostile takeovers have a tendency to get rough…" Edward said persuasively. Bella still wouldn't give in, as she stared at him defiantly. Emily stopped him, with a horrified face.

"Who says we're going to be hostile? By all means, NO! And you will not take Bella away from this! She already agreed!" Emily exclaimed. Bella nodded, shaking her head in agreement. "Some mind reader you are," she muttered, looking disdainfully at Edward, "and to think, I was going to join your fan club." Edward was taken aback at this remark.

"…Fan…club? I have a fan club?" he asked her, in disbelief. She smacked her forehead.

"Great, I fed his ego, "she whined, rolling her eyes. I laughed, replying.

"Don't worry, it'll deflate in time." As I finished talking, Alice, Rosalie, and Emmett came through the door in good spirits. Emmett patted Matt on the back, while Alice grinned at Emily. I thought, _this should be entertaining; they knew what Emily was planning_. Then, out of the blue, Matt asked Rosalie a question.

"Rosalie, may I talk to you in private?" Rose looked at him funny, but agreed, beckoning him outside.

**Outside… **Rosalie's POV

As I walked out the door, Matt began to speak. Immediately, I shushed him.

"Edward can read our minds, so we have to do this carefully." I said, my voice sounding musical and perfect. Imagine that, I even looked perfect too! "Matthew. That is your name, isn't it?" He nodded. "Let's take a drive." I stuck my head back in through the door.

"Emmett, we're taking the Wrangler!" I exclaimed, as he tossed me the keys. "Thanks!"

As we walked to the Wrangler, I could feel Matt's eyes boring a hole through my skull. But I didn't blame him. With me around, why would you want to look at anything else? As we began to speed down the road his face turned white.

"Are you trying to kill us?" he squeaked. He liked going fast, but obviously not the 130 MPH I was going. I rolled my eyes, but showed down to a snails pace of 80 MPH.

"Better?" I asked. He nodded. "And, does this talk have anything to do with pink hair dye?" I turned towards him in the seat as he nodded again. "There's some at the house, that's where we're going now. We'll put some diluted bleach in his shampoo, which will take some color out of his hair, but won't hurt him if he gets it in his eyes. Then, we put pink dye in with his conditioner. The result should be a dark pinkish-red color. He takes a shower every morning, so tomorrow morning will be a blast. You two should stay at Bella's house for the night, because she's coming over tomorrow morning anyway."

"But doesn't Edward spend his nights at Bella's?" he asked me. _Foolish human_, I thought.

"Yes, mostly, but he wouldn't rob Bella of Christmas with Charlie," I replied to him as we sped down the road to my house. Turning in the driveway, he gasped.

"So it is real!" he said in amazement, a grin spreading across his face. _Duh,_ I thought,_ why wouldn't it be?_

"Yes," I replied, a bit annoyed, "Now can we do this before Edward decides to come back?" He quickly bumped himself back down to earth, and got out of the Jeep. I was already standing at the front door impatiently while he was looking up at the house. "Well, come on!" I said to him, beckoning him inside.

"Oh, right!" he said, following me inside. If he was amazed outside, he was absolutely stunned when he walked inside. "Where are Carlisle and Esme?" he asked me as we walked up the stairs.

"Work," was my one word answer to him. He followed me as I walked into Alice's room.

"This is your room?" he asked me. There were punkish clothes on the floor, and hair dye bottles on the counter. The walls were black and pink. Taken aback, I sneered at him.

"No. Never in my life would I-" but he interrupted me.

"Sorry! Sorry! Then this must be Alice's room?" he asked me. I nodded.

"She went through a rebel stage a while back, so she has just about every color hair dye imaginable. Just look around, it should be here somewhere." As we were looking through things, I asked him a question that had been on my mind, "So, what brings you two to Forks?"

"What brings us to Forks?" he looked at me questioningly, "Well, I'd really like to take over Canada. Em came because of that, and Edward. She's always wanted to meet him." I snickered. _Ha. Who would want to meet Edward? Why not ME? _

"Ah, here it is, " I said, as I picked up a neon pink bottle. Matt and I shared a smirk and a snicker as we imagined Edward's reaction. I added some of my own bleach to Edward's dear Herbal Essences bottle. Then, Matt poured out about half of Edwards bronze hair formula, and added half of the pink bottle. It lightened the formula a bit, but not enough That Edward would have noticed. As we stepped out of the bathroom, we heard the door slam. I froze.

"Rose?" asked a voice from downstairs. _Oh_, I thought, _Good. Only Emmett._

"Yes, up here." I replied.

"Jasper's here to run Matt back to Bella's house in the Wrangler." I shooed Matt down the stairs and smiled at Emmett.

"Bye Matthew, I'll see you tomorrow. Should be fun." After my comment, we all laughed. This was something we were all in agreement on. Edward with pink hair was not a sight to miss.

**Back at Bella's… **Alice's POV

"Edward, we should leave for tonight," I said, "Let Bella have Christmas dinner with her father." Edward rolled his eyes, but was in agreement. We had a change in subject after the departure of Emily's friend Matt, and Rose. The topic was Bella's Christmas schedule. She was going to come over to our house, with Emily and Matt in tow at about 10 or 11 AM. Of course, we had invited Chief Swan over for Christmas dinner. Though rather reluctant, he had agreed. Bella's mother and her mother's boyfriend were also to join us for dinner. I knew Edward's present for Bella was a diamond ring. I felt bad about giving him pink hair for his engagement dinner, but it was too nice of an opportunity to pass up. _Maybe if he's lucky, Carlisle will let him keep his hat on for dinner,_ I thought. Oh, the perfect present for Edward! That's it! I was going to give him a hat! "Bye Bella!" I said cheerfully, while walking out the door, dragging Edward by the hand.

"Bye Alice!"

"Nice to meet you Emily!" I called. She waved to me.

"I'll see you tomorrow Bella," Edward said, pulling away from me. He leaned in to kiss her, but I yanked him away. He glared at me. I hated that stare.

"Esme will have our heads! Let's GO." And with that, I took his hand, yanked him out the door, and we began to run.

**The next morning…(Christmas) **Emmett's POV

I 'woke up' on Christmas morning to a girlish scream coming from Edward's room. See, we vampires can't really 'wake up,' however we can be in a restful state. I hoped it was because his hair was pink.

"WHO DID THIS?" came Edward's voice, resounding shrilly through the house. Yeah, it was the pink hair. I checked the clock. 10:33 AM. Bella should be downstairs by now. Sure enough, I heard high-pitched squeals and laughter from downstairs, most likely Emily, Alice, and Rosalie, since Bella knew zilch about the prank. Not wanting to look too eager, I got dressed, and then popped over to Edward's room.

"What's wrong, bro?" I called, from the other side of the door.

"YOU KNOW VERY WELL WHAT'S WRONG EMMETT MCCARTY CULLEN! NOW TELL ME WHOSE FAULT IT IS, AND I WON'T SNAP YOUR NECK."

"Ha. I'd like to see you try" I said, "but go downstairs, I think you'll find your answer there." He stormed out of his room, with a baseball cap on, his eyes blazing black. _Uh-oh…we might need Jasper_, I thought. So I called downstairs, "Rose! Is Jasper down there?"

"Yes, luckily. Now you get your ass down here too!" she called up to me. Ah, she was so ungrateful, my angel. But how could I not love her? So, I trudged down the stairs, right behind Edward. At the base of the stairs, I whipped off his cap, showing the crowd his newly acquired hair color. If vampires could blush, Edward would have been a nice shade of magenta, just like his hair. The hardest blow for him was probably his dearest Bella laughing at him. He turned toward me, sneered, and then turned to Emily. As he stalked towards her, she held her ground. This had the potential to get ugly…

Emily's POV

_ Shit. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea_, I thought, as Edward came to me. It's next to never, when I get shaken. However, this was one of those few times. I was sure that if someone didn't do something, Edward would tear me to pieces. My eyes went wide, and I started hyperventilating. But I calmed as soon as I saw Jasper behind Edward. Thank Goodness, I wasn't going to die! I let my breath go, as Jasper laid a hand on Edwards shoulder. I hadn't even known I had been holding it. Though it seemed the rest of the house had been holding theirs too. As Edward put his hand to his face, everyone began to laugh, except for Edward and I.

"Sorry Edward," I muttered, and then I went to sit by Matt and Bella. Then I heard Emmett's booming voice.

"So, presents, everyone?" All were in agreement. Alice got her yellow Porsche, Emmett a new plasma TV, and the rest what they wanted. But then it was time for Bella's gift. Edward kneeled eagerly in front of her, and took her hand.

"Isabella Marie Swan, I love you. Will you marry me? Even though I do have pink hair?" he asked her, looking into her eyes as she began to cry. I was proud to have been here for this. Every Twilight and New Moon reader knew it was coming, but Matt and I got to be here for it to happen.

"Yes, " she sobbed, "Yes I will!" she said as she flung herself into his arms. "And your hair isn't that bad," she added as a muffled afterthought, into his shoulder. In a better mood because of Bella's acceptance, Edward turned to me.

"Sorry that I was about to kill you Emily," Edward said to me, smiling. "Merry Christmas, and yes I'll help you. I'm in. Just please fix my hair?"

"Merry Christmas, Edward." I said quietly, smiling contentedly at him and his fiancée.

* * *

Happy Holidays! 

This was really fun to write, so I hope you all enjoy it.


End file.
